


downpour (as sudden and violent)

by heecheondo (HChnD)



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I forgot the best tag, Peace, That is me, Woops, a man is begging, also write more jongho centric fics, but with a fluffy ending, canon AU, i made my ult cry, lapslock, lol, no beta we die like men, sorry son, stan ATEEZ, thank you, write for ateez
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-11-04 14:49:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17900153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HChnD/pseuds/heecheondo
Summary: he wasn't sure what was wrong, but there was him, crying at such an hour.





	downpour (as sudden and violent)

**Author's Note:**

> venting on my faves when im feeling like shit? more likely than you think!  
> honestly my plan was to make something just a bit emotional on the angst side but also romantic (as in ship wise) in some way, maybe like an misunderstanding within an established relationship or even an "i hate you but something happened that made me see you in a different way and now i wanna make out with you" au BUT i ended up writing this which, you'll quickly notice, has nothing to do with that. anyway. now that i wrote something sad with those two it's time for me to redeem myself and watch [a cute video of them instead](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rzln5-NWyR0) and try to smile a little

jongho wasn't so sure why he was crying. he wasn't even so sure of what he was feeling, but there was him, sitting on their couch, staring at the wall with no focus in his eyes and letting the tears fall from them at three or so in the morning. he couldn't sleep, head running fast but to nowhere specific, some weird feeling of energy filling his veins despite the fatigue from the previous day. yeah, jongho was tired, physically and emotionally, yet, at the same time, he felt such an urge to do something, to think about something, to do anything besides getting a goddamn rest. but he couldn't.

and so he cried. the first few drops just quietly left the corner of his eyes, as if it was too shy to actually meet the outside world. but soon it was followed by a few friends, heavier than the first one, rolling quickly to his cheek. and then it was like a downpour, the quiet tears suddenly making him sob into his hands, trying to muffle the sound. his hyungs were all asleep, even seonghwa, who was so hard to fall asleep and hongjoong, who had the bad habit of skipping his bedtime for work. he shouldn't bother them with this, especially since he wasn't even sure of why he was being like that. he was just so fucking tired of… _something_! he wasn't sure what that it, but it was frustrating. he felt stuck, felt hopeless, felt like he had to do something. but he had no idea what.

he heard a door open somewhere in the dorm, making him quietly gasp. jongho hoped that it was his imagination, or that if it wasn't, he hoped the person wouldn't step in the living room, that whoever that was he wouldn't stop him by the couch.

but he was never a lucky person. “who is there?”, a sweet yet slightly hoarse voice spoke, probably at him, which made the youngest turn to stare at its owner. he blinked: it was yeosang. he gulped down, eyes meeting his for a short second and, despite it being dark, his eyes had gotten used with the lack of illumination and so the sleepy yet firm look in his hyung's eyes worked like electricity in him, turning away from his gaze. he wasn't sure if he was still looking at him, but he wished he didn't. he kinda wanted to disappear from the older. but, obviously, that didn't happen. “jongho-yah, what are you doing awake at such hour?”

“i could ask you the same thing, hyung”, he said in a harsh tone without really thinking about it. but there was something inside him that just made him blurt it out, not caring that yeosang was his elder and such shouldn't be talked to with such tone, not caring about formalities.

jongho expected him to ignore him, do whatever he was going to and head back to bed, or at least make a small mention of his rude tone but leave it be. but no, he went towards the couch and sat down beside the younger. “i was going to get some water”, he replied casually, looking at his direction. “have you been crying?”

ah, yes, typical kang yeosang. he was always so blunt, so straightforward. “no”, he lied.

“it's not what your voice crack tells me.”

he sighed. “hyung, it's fine. go get your water and go back to sleep, keeping yourself hydrated is good for your voice.”

“yet here you are, crying your eyes out”, the other replied. “you rarely cry, too. come on, you can tell your hyung”, yeosang put a hand on his back, “you can tell me what's bothering you.”

jongho finally - yet slowly - decided to give the other another glare, and now that his face was so close he could see his eyes better. it still seemed quite sleepy but he had his attention all on himself, patiently waiting for him to open up. there was something in his eyes too, something that made him feel cared for. it was worry, he presumed. “i am not sure”, he started with a sad smile, “i just-- i can't sleep, can't stop thinking, can't do _anything_. it's so frustrating, i just wanna--”, he sighed before finishing, “disappear.”

the hand on his back started to move in smooth circles, telling him to keep going.

“it's stupid. i don't think i should be feeling like this. i'm tired but can't sleep, it's so frustrating. and then we have packed schedules to go and i keep wishing a break, but once i am here _i can't fucking sleep_. can't stop thinking about what happened today, what will happen tomorrow, can't stop worrying about our performances and image and--”

“jongho”, the older's voice suddenly came in, stopping his words. at some point he moved closer, now his hand was on his shoulder opposite to where he was sitting, giving his dongsaeng a half hug. “it's okay, you can cry”, for a moment he was confused by his words until he left a sob. oh, he was crying again. fucking great. he didn't want to be seen by the older like this, he didn't need to remind him that he was their team's youngest, he could just be strong this one time and-- “let it out. it's better to just let these things go. it sucks to feel like this, i know it”, he squished their bodies together, “but i am here when you need to, okay? and so are the others too. it's okay, just let it out.”

he didn't want to cry, really, but listening to the older speak like that worked like a shift and so he let it all out, the tears falling from his cheeks until it either hit his shirt or yeosang's, sobs muffled from one of his hand as the other hugged the older’s clothing. he didn't know for how long they stayed like that, but he decided that it didn't care.

“feeling better now?”, the older asked when the room was back to silence, petting jongho's hair who just quietly nodded. “want me to get you some water?”

“no. just stay here, hyung, it's warm.”

yeosang laughed. “aren't you a big baby.”

the youngest pouted. “am not.”

“ _right,_ you totally are not a baby”, was his reply, clearly not falling for that, and kept petting his hair.

the younger made a small offended sound but decided to leave it like that, letting his eyes close and slowly, yet finally, falling asleep on his hyung's arms, a strange feeling of safety wrapping him and following him into his dreams.

**Author's Note:**

> baby i'm soooooorryyyyy (i'm not sorry)  
> i'm sad i'm allowed to write sad stuff ok >:((((((  
>   
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/heecheondo) | [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/heecheondo) | [other links/about me](https://heecheondo.carrd.co/)  
>   
>   
> edit: the word count was not planed but **h o l y s h i t**


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